Last night I attended my mentor Vickie Natale's show at Feinstein's. It confirmed why God put her in my path...
Vickie is an incredible artist, not to mention an incredible person. Watching her performance taught me some things about myself. I've been trying to figure out the origin of my innermost fears while I perform or even when I try to improvise with other artists/musicians... What is it that holds me back and prevents me from letting go?
Well, I saw Vickie be herself, funny, charming, and natural. No gimmicks. And really really enjoying herself. Letting herself go and being absorbed by her music. She was running around, being silly, and not being self-conscious or afraid to make fun of herself.
Yes, that's it! I'm AFRAID of making fun of myself, of screwing up, of not being perfect, of falling on stage, yes, when I wear heels I am so scared to fall, I let all these things get in my head because I don't want to look stupid.
I'm kinda shy and having the spontaneous, charming stage presence is really hard work for me. So how do I achieve just being. Just BEING. Letting go of my inhibitions and telling my brain to shut up. Really find myself and let the music take me? Stop worrying about what the musicians are doing, what I look like, if I look too fat, too silly, too sweaty...UGH.
I guess that is the challenge. I have recognized the fear. Now how do I work on getting rid of it?
We inspire eachother! that's what music does!
ReplyDeleteYou don't get rid of Fear, you manage it and you learn how to deal with it. When you have a thought of fear you ask yourself if there is really any danger that you are faced with. You will realize that things are ok. I have at least four times this year that I fell on stage, I got up and laughed at myself because I was ok. life's too short for worry.
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