meditation and inspiration

Last night I attended my mentor Vickie Natale's show at Feinstein's. It confirmed why God put her in my path...

Vickie is an incredible artist, not to mention an incredible person. Watching her performance taught me some things about myself. I've been trying to figure out the origin of my innermost fears while I perform or even when I try to improvise with other artists/musicians... What is it that holds me back and prevents me from letting go?
Well, I saw Vickie be herself, funny, charming, and natural. No gimmicks. And really really enjoying herself. Letting herself go and being absorbed by her music. She was running around, being silly, and not being self-conscious or afraid to make fun of herself.

Yes, that's it! I'm AFRAID of making fun of myself, of screwing up, of not being perfect, of falling on stage, yes, when I wear heels I am so scared to fall, I let all these things get in my head because I don't want to look stupid.

I'm kinda shy and having the spontaneous, charming stage presence is really hard work for me. So how do I achieve just being. Just BEING. Letting go of my inhibitions and telling my brain to shut up. Really find myself and let the music take me? Stop worrying about what the musicians are doing, what I look like, if I look too fat, too silly, too sweaty...UGH.

I guess that is the challenge. I have recognized the fear. Now how do I work on getting rid of it?

8/10/11

Back from a long week vacation in Texas and Louisiana. Many wonderful memories were created with family and some of my closest friends. Now I'm back in NYC to focus on my short-term goals (both personal and professional).
I wanted to start doing live shows this summer, but it looks like everything that's come my way has delayed the process. In the meantime I have to get my voice in shape again and really immerse myself in the music.
Back to writing and getting the songs together for a live show. I'm anxious to sing live again and I know my followers are too.
Getting physically fit for the photo shoot. Looking for a professional make-up artist/hair stylist, ideas for my artistic "look", wardrobe, jewelry...phew! A bit overwhelmed.

Opportunities to sing again keep coming up, I feel like I'm so rusty and old, but I just need to focus and keep a positive attitude to get back on track. The more I do it, the better I will be.